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How to Say No

By Arel Moodie

· Conversation,Utility Belt,Psychology

This one word can save you a lot of effort and time if you can use it judiciously. I'm sure

But what's the best way to say no? How do you let someone down easy? In this week's episode of the Art of Likability, we will review some of the psychology behind getting no for a reply and we will go over three different ways to tell someone no, so you don't have to mad dog them like Arnold does:

Maybe if this were a move, I'd see you on the silver screen looking all cool like Arnold above. But with the Art of Likability, we're about looking cool with all your relationships and being able to tell a business partner or a friend no in a likable way!

How could you say no to that?

How to Say No

First off, there's some funny psychology in asking for favor. When people ask for help, some part of them may even expect no as an answer.

When you take this in mind, giving someone a "no" may be more like confirming their possible expectation than completely shutting them down. However, as likable people we're not looking to completely reject someone, so here are three ways to say no:

1. "No" based off principle: If someone asks you to do something and you say you can't, it begs the question: why can't you?

If you use don't instead of can't, it sounds more like a rule rather than a particular situation keeping you from helping out. For example:

Person: "That politician said something real dumb, don't you think?"

You: "Politics is crazy. I don't talk politics in public."

2. "I'm not comfortable with..." What about a gray area situation, where saying no may be more awkward? A friend may ask a favor of you, but you just don't have the time or resources to step in. Soften the no by telling them that it wouldn't make you comfortable or it doesn't work out for you:

Friend: "Do you think you could help me move out on Saturday?"

You: "Man, that's not going to work out with my schedule."

3. Find another way to help them. Be on the lookout for ways you can provide help besides your money or time!

Friend: "Do you think you could help me move out on Saturday?"

You: "Man, that's not going to work out with my schedule, but you know our friend Jeff? He has a pickup truck that could help; I can give him a ring."

Now in this example, you were able to help the person out while still preserving your own schedule.

What do you think about a FREE LIVE Webinar with me and the rest of the Art of Likability community? I hope you won't say no to that!

Include your email below to grab info about our upcoming webinar!

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