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Episode 11: The Most Likable Way To Give Compliments

By Arel Moodie
There are great, sincere compliments, and there are fake, disingenuous compliments, but how do we make sure we give the great compliments which allow us to connect with people?    The secret is to tap into your active listening skills.  Giving a compliment can be like listening actively in that you ask follow-up questions to your compliment.  It shows interest, engagement, and indicates that you took the time to think about your friend.  Like we’ve seen in previous episodes, interested is interesting, and this is a concept to apply to giving compliments.
Quick Rundown:
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One quick way to give a bad compliment is to suggest in the compliment that this is something the person doesn’t do a whole lot.  Here’s one: “You look really sharp and fashionable today, shockingly enough!”  It’s as if they dressed well today, but don’t usually dress well.  This kind of “shocked” attitude is a counterproductive one toward giving great compliments.

Instead, think of yourself as a conversational Sherlock Holmes or some other detective, and you’re on a case to find out what got this person to where he is, or why this brooch means so much to this other person.  Something like a brooch may be an excellent piece to compliment—if you see something that someone has spent time and energy on, compliment them on their work! 

People will appreciate being appreciated for their efforts.  Knowing this, put on your detective hat to be on the lookout for anything people have spent time and energy on, and that’s immediately something you can compliment them on.

Stay tuned, and stay awesome!

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